It’s not easy being a side chick. There is more to it than getting expensive gifts, amazing sex, and thrilling escapades.
The role always carries with it an inherent risk of getting in the middle of a melodrama, heartache, and scandal.
So, if you have decided to become the third wheel of a relationship, you ought to heed to 12 golden rules that will help you stay clear of any potential trouble and be a good side chick.
1. Do not fall in love
This is the numero uno rule. Falling in love with the man will destroy the very basis of the relationship built primarily to enjoy casual no strings attached sex.
Putting in an additional variable of love to the equation may result in increased complications and expectations that your partner simply did not ask for.
Do not get emotionally attached as he might get turned off and cut you out completely. If you choose to defy this rule, you will have to prepare yourself for the complications that will arise when you separate.
2. Know your position
You are the side chick and not the main woman in his life. Understand this, accept this, and play this mantra on loop in your head. You must contend yourself for never being his priority.
Every time he gets a call from his wife or girlfriend, he will be gone. If his friends make a sudden plan to meet up, he will be gone. If an urgent meeting comes up at work, he will be gone.
You are not part of his inner circle and never will be. So, don’t try to compete to get in. It is a sinking ship that will take you down eventually.
3. Always be discreet
As a side-chick, you have to ace the game of being non-existent. You must also learn the art of ‘disappearing’ within a blink of an eye. So, if he meets an acquaintance while you are together, clear the scene before he finishes greeting the person.
Sticking around will make the acquaintance curious about you, which could put your guy in a spot. You do not exit, remember! Therefore, your best strategy would be to wait for him at the parking and let him find you later on.
Being discreet also means refraining from posting pics of the two you on social media. You must not divulge anything about your arrangement with the guy. Failing to adhere to this rule can end your steamy days as a side chick.
4. Do not stalk him
Thanks to technology, you can easily dig up information about your guy and his partner. But do not entertain that thought. It will not serve you any purpose.
Checking out pictures of how he spent valentine’s day with his partner or celebrated his birthday with his spouse will make you wish for more. However, the fact of the matter remains that you cannot get or be more of anything in his life. Therefore, enjoy the time that you spend together.
Give your guy some space and focus on being the person he thinks about when wanting to have a good time.
5. Do not ask for money
It may seem ironic, but it is better not to ask him for money. At least not directly. Employ various tactics to get what money can buy from him instead. If you make your relationship all about money, it will make you feel like a cheap prostitute in a dingy corner.
Instead, make your relationship filled with fantasy and desire. If you manage to do this, he will give you the money without you even asking!
Paint him a romantic picture of a naughty weekend and watch him book the tickets and reserve a hotel room in a jiffy. While there, sweet talk him into buying whatever you have been eyeing for a long time.
6. Do not get pregnant on the sly
You are his side chick. He is not interested in welcoming a child into this world with you. He has a wife or main partner for that. However, if you are still living under the illusion that he will make you his main chick once a baby comes along, think a little harder.
Once he comes to know of the pregnancy, he will replace you with another side chick, and you will end up with a baby to look after.
Therefore, do not use pregnancy as a tool to make him do what you want. That plan will backfire on you. You stand to lose more than you can gain.
7. Do not cut yourself off
Being a side chick does not mean that you have to put your life on hold for him. Whether you want to accept it or not, the guy you are secretly hooking up with is taken. Go on dates, meet your friends, catch a movie, join a gym, etc. Make time for yourself to do things that you enjoy. Who knows, you might meet someone that will make you his main chick during one of your outings.
If you do meet someone who might be the one, remember to end your side relationship. Most guys are possessive of their partners, even if she is just his side chick.
8. Always dress to kill
As a side-chick, you do not get the luxury to hang around your man in PJs. It is part of your job description to please him, attract him with your looks, and make him keep coming back to you. Exude positive vibes and do not nag. Your role as a side chick is to be something different.
So, you must always look your best. It is imperative. If you manage to outdo the main, then it is a bonus. Therefore, keep your lip gloss within arm’s reach to pop up those luscious lips and put on your sexiest outfit when he comes to meet you.
9. Avoid any kind of drama
Side chicks and drama are often used in the same sentence. But if you want to be a good side chick, avoid being a drama queen.
Remember, you are meant to be a distraction, an escape for the guy. He comes to you to feel good. So, don’t get dramatic. If you ignore this rule, he will be looking at possible replacements in no time.
It is not enough that you avoid drama; you must also ensure that no drama is created because of you.
To see this through, you must follow rule number 3 correctly. Be discreet. Do not leave any traces of your existence. Be careful not to leave behind your smell, bra, or even a chipped nail!
If you fail to do this, it will lead to ugly confrontations and embarrassments for your guy.
10. Know the risks
To survive living as a side chick, you need to be aware of the risks.
The first risk is often the ethical dilemma of infiltrating another relationship.
The second risk is the possibility of getting caught.
The third risk is the consequences that follow after the illicit relationship is uncovered.
The final risk is getting replaced by another side chick without any notice.
Therefore, you have to prepare yourself mentally before taking up the gig of being someone’s side chick. The moral compass with which the society judges such relationships is not very kind.
Hence, only women with thick skin are eligible for the job.
11. Keep away from the main
You can do yourself a great deal of favor by staying away from his wife or main partner.
If you know of her favorite hangout places, stay clear of them. Always maintain a distance. This will help you to not come under the wife’s radar.
If you happen to see them together, do not even cast a fleeting glance at them! Never do anything that will help the wife connect the dots and link you with her man.
12. Do not linger
As a side chick, the very basis of your relationship was built on rocky grounds. Such arrangements most certainly come with an expiry date.
So, when that day finally arrives, handle it with maturity. Move on and try not to cling on to the bits and pieces of a false relationship.
Most importantly, do not fall for the line, “we can continue to be friends.” End it otherwise; he will just use you when it is convenient. Therefore, don’t be afraid to call it quits. Do it to ensure your self-respect as well as your safety.
Become the dream side chick
Ladies, being a side chick can take a toll on you. So be one only if you are prepared to leave your emotions out of the equation. You must take on a tough personality and not let harsh judgments and criticism affect you.
Always remember that there is no guarantee that you will end up being the main chick in such relationships. Even expecting him to be loyal to you is a bit too much. So just relax and take each day as it comes.
Whether you have ended up being a side chick by design or destiny, it is essential to follow the rules as mentioned above to the T. It will save you from all the unnecessary drama and help you have a good time.