Monogamy is hard.
And I don’t just say that because I’ve failed at it. The statistics agree: up to 60% of married Americans cheat.
If those stats concern you—and they should—there are ways you can help your own spouse beat the odds. And we’ve got all those ways for you, my friend.
These are the four things you can do to keep your wife from cheating on you.
1. Fulfill Her Emotionally
Women are emotional beings. In order to meet her emotional needs, she needs to feel loved, desired, appreciated…she needs to feel valued. There’s nowhere she needs that more than in her relationship with you.
If you’re not meeting your spouse’s emotional needs, things are bound to get a little testy.
She’s frustrated and annoyed.
She’s angry you’re not listening.
You’re angry she’s withholding sex.
You get the point. Things are getting bad.
If she can’t talk to you about what she needs, or feels like you don’t care about her feelings, she’ll be more attracted to Mike—the guy in her office who “really listens to her.”
Here’s How To Do It:
Communication is the key to emotional fulfillment. If you don’t understand what she needs, tell her that. Ask what you can do to meet her needs—and do it. Keep your end of the conversation simple. Listen, and mirror what she’s telling you. Stay calm, and avoid trying to blame other people (or worse, blaming her) for the situation.
If you’re building up your wife and helping her to get what she needs in the world, she’s less likely to step out.
2. Satisfy Her in Bed
Men and women cheat for very different reasons. Surprisingly, sex isn’t a big reason for women. But boredom in the bedroom can still drive your wife to explore her horizontal options elsewhere.
Sex and desire ebb and flow. Even some of the hottest people on the planet lose their appeal at some point. Billy Bob Thornton famously commented: “(Angelina Jolie) may be the hottest woman in the world, but (after a while) it’s kind of like fucking the couch.”
But my man speaks the truth. Nobody is expecting a PornHub-quality performance every night of the week, but we don’t want to be the victim of a timid 4 minute hump because it’s the third Tuesday of the month, either.
Boredom—emotional, physical, sexual—is a relationship killer.
Here’s How To Do It:
There are a lot of ways to breathe new energy into a wilting sex life.
- Reprioritize foreplay. It might be the thing you do before you do the thing you actually want to do—but for her, it’s the main event. Make her come before you do, and she will be more satisfied in bed.
- Get out of bed. If every sexual encounter your wife has is in your bedroom, in your bed, switch it up a little. Get it in on the floor. Bend her over the kitchen counter. Smash against a wall or on the sofa. As someone nobody remembers once said, “a change is as good as a holiday.”
- Communicate. Put your own ego aside and find out what she really likes. Find out what she wants. Be open to exploring fantasies or roleplaying together.
Satisfying your woman isn’t about turning into that billionaire dude from that one movie. Most women aren’t even looking for that. What it is about is getting her to the big-O, keeping her guessing, and listening to what she wants.
3. Look After Yourself
This one is simple: get it together, my man.
Time might be mocking you loftily and loudly with every year that passes, and your body might be going through some shit that’s awkward for everyone involved—mostly you—but don’t take it lying down.
If you look and behave like you don’t have to make an effort anymore, you’re effectively telling your wife that she’s not worth making an effort for. You may not be Kenny at the gym with the Instagram abs, but have some self-respect.
And also, there are many benefits to looking good and being healthy other than keeping your wife from cheating on you. You’re going to need those benefits as you get older.
Here’s How To Do It:
Exercise regularly. Eat healthy. Stay hydrated. Do your hair, trim your beard, shave off the comb-over, trim the mullet—whatever you need to do to embrace a better version of you.
Invest in your health and get out of your sweats every once in a while.
More than any of this: get your wife involved in your newer, healthier lifestyle plans.
By working on your lifestyle together, you’re creating a new kind of bonding that keeps her busy with you, and not away from you getting busy.
4. Break the Monotony
If you’re paying any attention at all, you know that you need to be communicating with your wife.
But maybe what she’s communicating is that she’s bored. Boredom in a relationship—whether it’s emotional boredom, sexual boredom, or just an overall ennui with life itself—is a dangerous thing.
Boredom can push a woman to step out on her relationship.
A little attention from the opposite sex looks a lot more appealing when she’s bored at home.
The good news is that boredom can be fixed.
The key is variety.
How To Do It:
Get creative. Engage your powers of curiosity and add a little spice to your lives.
Is there something the two of you used to do together that kind of fell by the wayside as life got in the way? Do it again.
Is there something you’ve both talked about doing and never got around to? Do it now.
Avoiding—or breaking out of—a rut is about perception. Change how you’re perceiving your relationship.
- If you’re dragging her along to a work dinner, call her your partner in crime.
- If you’re running errands together, make a pit-stop to eat ice-cream together.
- If she’s dropping you off at work, leave a little early and make out in the no-parking zone.
- Write her notes, take her to catch a stand-up comedy gig (if that’s her thing), sign up for a class you’ve both talked about—just do something.
Because doing something with her is a hell of a lot better than hearing she did something with Bob in Accounting.