No one likes being cheated on. It destroys trust, intimacy, and basically, the entire relationship. To put it bluntly, it sucks. Everything you thought you had is gone and it feels like your whole world is crumbling around you like a digestive you’ve kept in your tea for too long. A soggy, soppy mess. Yup, not pretty.
I’ve been cheated on. So I get it. But, when I think back, there were definitely early signs that I missed which could’ve saved me walking in on them in bed together.
I don’t want you to have to go through that. So, I thought I’d compile a list of all the signals that I (stupidly) ignored (yes, even my gut feeling that said something wasn’t right) which would’ve allowed me to spot my cheater of a partner early on.
Let’s do this!
1. Wildly Improved Appearance
If your guy or gal starts getting up, legging it to the gym, eating super-clean and buying form-fitting clothes out of the blue, this is a sign of trouble. They’re trying to look as attractive as possible for their side piece.
Does your boyfriend suddenly decide that dressing up to the nines to go to work is his new “thing”?
Or does your girlfriend suddenly douse herself in perfume when she’s heading out alone but doesn’t do that when she’s out with you?
I’m sorry to say but these are all signs that they are getting it on with an imposter.
2. Secretive Phone use
This is a biggie. It’s also the most obvious (nowadays that is).
We’re pretty fortunate to have text messaging and the like these days because it does make it easier to catch your significant other red-handed. Who doesn’t want that?
If they’ve recently added a password to certain apps or maybe even their whole phone where there wasn’t one before, you’re in for a rough ride.
If they’re clearing the browser history and deleting text messages all the time, it’s also a bad sign. After all, why would they want to hide anything? It’s disrespectful — especially if you’ve been together for years!
3. Sex Life Has Changed
Now, don’t get me wrong, your sex life will change throughout your relationship. Those first 3 months of passionate lovemaking have probably passed you by now but that doesn’t mean it will switch up dramatically.
It will go one for two ways. Either your guy or gal will stop being intimate with you completely. Or, they’ll be wanting to go at it like rabbits. That’s guilt, my friends.
Trust me, I knew it was doomed when he started avoiding the whole sex thing. And yes, I did choose to ignore it. But do as I say, not as I do. (I hate that saying but it applies here).
4. Their Friends Seem Weird
Let’s just get one thing straight. You’ll be the last one to know about your partner’s side chick.
Yup, his or her friends will know from the very beginning of the affair, and even your friends will find out and keep it from you. You’ll be feeling like a class-A clown when you do find out. But, let’s just remember that it’s not your fault.
Anyway, I’m getting away from the point!
Since the dude’s (or dudette’s) mates know, they’re going to act strangely when you’re around. That’s just human nature. They may even avoid you or go the other way and be extra friendly.
5. Random Expenses
Cheating is expensive. There are hotel rooms, motels, travel, dinners, drinks, and more that your partner will be paying for. So, if you notice weird and random charges on your SO’s card then there is a difficult conversation around the corner.
Equally, if you have a joint account and he or she keeps taking money out or putting less in, you’ve got a problem.
Well, I should say that they have the problem since you’re the one staying faithful. Honestly, I applaud you. You’ve got this.
6. Sudden Moodiness
Random unexplained mood swings can be a sign of cheating too. Now, this only tends to happen if your partner isn’t hiding it well (poor them right.). But it’s psychologically proven so it’s got to mean something.
Obviously, they could just be having one of those days. If it comes with no explanation though, it’s probably time to sit down and think about what’s really going on here.
7. You Don’t Know What They Do All Day
At the beginning (and maybe even up until now), you’ve probably known where your SO hangs out, who their work meals included, and where these work meals were.
But now you don’t know what they do after work, where they go, or who they see. Stuff seems to be wrong here, doesn’t it?
Oh, another great indicator is constant lateness. If they’re always late home from work and they come up with lame excuses like flat tires, breakdowns, traffic, and more, they’re being unfaithful. You need to kick ass at this point.
8. Wants to Know Where You Are
Keeping strict tabs on you is the biggest sign I failed to notice. Basically, he just didn’t want to get caught — and that’s what your guy or gal is trying to do here.
By knowing where you are they can arrange to meet their sidepiece somewhere else and they know how much time they’ve got together. How lovely.
9. Insults You Out of Nowhere
Screaming at you for literally no reason or insulting you when you do things or you’re just simply breathing is a sure sign of infidelity.
To tell you the truth, your gut will tell you that something isn’t right long before the insults start. You’ve just got to listen to it.
No, I’m not saying this is easy. What I am saying is that it needs to be done. Kick ’em to the curb. Then go out with your real friends and treat yo’self. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.