People get into affairs with one goal in mind: marriage. Everyone wishes that their affair will end in marriage. Couples get into extramarital affairs when one person is dissatisfied in the marriage and doesn’t know how to go about it.
A relationship that starts with deceit is not automatically doomed to fail. So, can you really have a long-term affair? Yes. Below are some tips on how to strengthen your relationship to make your one-time affair a long-term affair.
1. Establish boundaries with your partner
Limit contact with people of the opposite sex. Steer clear of anything that can lead you into temptations. It is very easy for a friendship to turn into a relationship. You could meet a lot of attractive and interesting people out there. Affairs and cheating are often a function of opportunity.
These people can be your coworker or friends. Don’t share personal information with these people unless your spouse is around. Always try to limit your conversations to work issues and professional stuff. Limit yourself so that you don’t fall into temptations.
2. Don’t give up easily
You need to recognize your marriage is a change in your life. Changes take time and changing feelings usually takes longer than changing thoughts and actions. Don’t focus on the perfections. Give your relationship time for it to work out.
Do things together that encourage you to grow together. You cannot put your relationship on cruise control and expect it to last. Keep up with your partner`s changing thoughts, ideas and preferences. Accept the imperfections and focus on the good in the relationship for it to work.
3. Never act jealous
If you feel that your partner is slowly drifting away from you, don’t act angry and harshly critical at them. Try focusing on wooing them back with your talent and capabilities. Make them respect and value you again.
Give them a reason to love and don’t upset them. You cannot keep your partner for long using threats. Give them something positive to think about your relationship. This is a short-term strategy that may hold you together in your relationship.
4. Show your partner that you exist
Think of being a partner as applying for a job. Why should your partner keep you around and not fire you? A real man is supposed to be the go-to person by providing everything in terms of physical and emotional needs. This kills the temptation by your partner to look for it somewhere else.
If our partners are not there for certain needs, we could find others. Make yourself special in that relationship such that others can’t compete. When someone is satisfied in a relationship, that relationship ends up becoming a long-term affair.
5. Talk openly about what you need
Holding on to things that bother you can trigger unhappiness in your affair. One of the partners might decide to find someone who can listen to what they need in a relationship. Practice the habit of dialogue in a calm and loving manner.
Solve your issues amicably. This means presenting your issues in ways that allow discussions and problem-solving. If you are unhappy with your intimate life, talk to your spouse and not to an outsider. If you feel your partner is not satisfying enough, present solutions first before seeking help.
6. Try different things
Experience new things together. This makes the affair more exciting. Look for activities that are new, like visiting new restaurants in town, attending theatres and movies. Try something out of the normal to make your relationship more exciting.
These memories will encourage bonding in couples in readiness for a long-term affair. Couples can now focus on the good things about the relationship. Read books together, discover new ways of managing a relationship to achieve a long time affair.
7. Invest in your relationship
The best defence against cheating in a relationship is having and maintaining a great relationship. Examine how well you meet your partner’s needs. This will deter them from seeking attention somewhere else.
Step up in areas you feel you are weak. Communicate freely on how best you fulfill their wants and needs in a relationship. Do things together that challenge you to grow together as a couple. In the long run, your affair will exceed your expectations and result in a long time affair.
8. Don’t stray
Believe that you will guard the relationship no matter what happens. Don’t open doors to exploring other people other than your spouse. Recognize that its human nature to see other attractive people outside the relationship.
In order to stay committed in a relationship, shake hands with the idea that, you have only one spouse at a time. Have agreements and conversations on what constitutes cheating. This is because initially, partners may not be on the same page.
One partner may feel that going for dances, kissing other folks and flirting is fine with them. The other partner may view this behavior as out of bounds in their relationship. This can be viewed as a conflict of interest.
Partners can hold different ideas on what constitutes an emotional affair. If it translates to cheating the solution is having a dialogue of the dos and don’ts in the relationship.
9. Go for counseling
A few sessions of counseling can help couples with a comprehensive map on how to tend their partnerships and enjoy their life together. Go for counseling before a major crisis. If you go after a crisis, it might be too late for counseling to be effective.
If you feel the relationship is on the rocks, visit someone professional who can listen to your part of the story and make informed decisions on the way forward. Salvage what you have left. Counseling is often effective before the relationship erupts into a full-blown crisis.
Relationships are challenging for everyone. The counselor will help ease your pressure and help you clarify things about your relationship. Counseling helps resolve relationship roadblocks before they become impasses.