The marital journey is filled with many challenges and responsibilities.
Not only do you leave your house behind, but you must also begin the process of setting up a new home and eventually creating a new family with your spouse.
You embark on this beautiful voyage by placing enormous trust on your spouse. But what if your spouse fails to uphold your trust. Living with a cheating spouse can be devastating. The constant suspicions of cheating can make you feel sick.
But don’t give up! If your gut says your spouse is cheating, then you must not brush away your instincts. Take control of the situation and investigate. While your spouse may take utmost care to ensure that you don’t get a whiff about their affair, few tell-tale signs will help you nail their lies.
Here are 10 signs to look out for if you suspect your spouse of cheating.
1. Watch out for the extra love
Behavioral changes can indicate that your spouse is cheating on you.
Are they showering you with a lot of attention?
Buying you flowers, perfumes, chocolates out of the blue?
Taking you out for dinners, giving you generous compliments?
While their gestures may make you fall in love with them more, beware!
Their out of the way, public display of affection may be a subtle sign of cheating. Spouses who are having an affair take better care of their wives to ensure they do not suspect anything amiss.
It is also a way of coping with their guilty conscience. They try to be extra nice to cover up for their less than ideal acts behind their wife’s back.
Watch out if they call you more than the usual number of times. They may be calling you, not to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, but to check your whereabouts, to ensure you are nowhere near them!
2. Observe changes in grooming
If your sweatshirt and jeans wearing spouse takes a sudden interest in their appearance and asks you for fashion advice, they’re is trying to impress someone new.
People often take on a brand-new persona when they are cheating. They upgrade their looks by buying new clothes, changing their hairstyle, wearing cologne and grooming themselves to look their best. Fitness becomes a new craze for them. They go all out to shed those extra pounds to feel confident and desired.
So, if all these were not part of their routine, then make sure to ask your spouse about the unusual change. If their answer does not make sense to you, then it should raise several red flags.
3. Look out for change in their phone habits
Does your partner seem to have a panic attack every time you reach for their phone? Is, be being super clingy to their phone and taking it everywhere? Have you caught them smiling while frequently messaging someone? If yes, then they’re is trying to hide something from you.
Although it is normal for people to seek privacy while answering or making calls, it can be a sign of cheating if it becomes more frequent than usual.
Rushing outside to take a call, hushed phone conversations, covering the screen while texting, the sudden appearance of passwords on apps, are all signs that your spouse is straying.
Sharing passwords with your spouse should not be a big deal. However, if this stops being the case, then it is not a good sign.
4. Notice changes in physical intimacy
Physical intimacy is not confined to sex alone. Hugs, cuddles, holding hands, soft kisses are all required to make your partner feel loved and desired.
If you have, you noticed that they’re no longer initiates a hug or a kiss or avoids looking into your eyes, then all these are indications that their mind is wandering.
Increased or decreased sexual activity can also be a warning sign. They may not be interested in having sex with you as they’re is spending all their energy on someone else. However, your spouse may also mislead you by increasing intimacy at home.
Observe changes in the type and level of sexual activity between you two. Also, be on the lookout for signs such as bailing on foreplay, not looking at you during sex or bringing out new moves, etc.
5. You are not feeling loved
Your spouse made you feel loved by their words and deeds. You both enjoyed long conversations, spending time together at home, discussing your day, and sharing a meal. Have these things become an event of the past?
Every relationship has its ebbs and flows. All couples go through rough times.
But if you feel a sudden distance or prolonged tension between the two of you, then you may be right in suspecting that your spouse is probably having an affair. They may have found someone else who piques their interest more than you do.
When you try to express your concern about how things have changed, they may get defensive. They may turn the tables and push the blame on you for the changes. If your loving partner has out of the blue stopped loving you as before, it’s time to investigate.
6. Changes in their daily schedule
Married couples who have been living together for some time tend to know each other’s schedule very well. So, if your spouse is not doing what they’re supposed to be doing or is not where they’re supposed to be, then it might be time for you to have a hard talk with them.
A cheating spouse may come with several excuses for staying out of the house.
He may use late evening meetings as an excuse for meeting their new interest for dinner or early morning gym for catching up with her for breakfast. An unusual business meeting in another city may just be a weekend getaway with their new love.
So, if you notice your spouse being deceptive about their whereabouts or cannot find or reach them as easily as before, things aren’t right.
7. Friends seem uneasy around you
The non-cheating partner is always the last to know about the infidelity. However, the friends of a cheating spouse are often aware of the affair right from the beginning. Moreover, even the wife’s friends circle tends to know before she does!
This additional piece of information may often make friends uncomfortable around you. They may try to compensate for their guilt by being nicer to you or by avoiding you altogether.
If you are not able to find any hard evidence against your cheating spouse, ask their friends.
If they are being weird about your questions or cannot give you a straight answer by looking you in the eye, then they do know something about your spouse that you don’t.
Friends who genuinely care about you may start throwing hints at you about your spouse’s infidelity. Instead of getting angry at their audacity, start making a note of it and begin to observe your spouse more closely.
8. Unusual spending
A cheating husband or wife may hide their financial statements to cover their tracks and avoid answering any questions about how they spend their money.
However, if you do manage to lay your hands on it and notice abnormal charges on your spouse’s credit card bills or undiscussed withdrawal from a joint account or their retirement or investment account, that could be a sign of cheating.
Confront your spouse and ask for answers. If the answers don’t add up, then you know they’re lying.
Pursuing an affair is not cheap. Money is required for gifts, fancy dinner, hotel rooms, holidays, etc. All these expenses can soon turn into a substantial amount. Therefore, if you catch sight of an unusual withdrawal or receipt of their card been swiped at a place you never or rarely visit, that must raise your suspicions.
9. They’re acting defensively
When a person behaves defensively while answering questions about their behavior and whereabouts, it is a clear sign that they don’t want you to know certain things.
If a simple question like where you were last evening, can trigger an outburst, then your partner has been up to no good.
Also, if he, out of nowhere, accuses you of cheating, it may be because they’ve been unfaithful and now judge everyone with the same moral microscope.
10. Trust your instincts
Your intuition is the number one lie detector. A partner knows their spouse inside out. You know their daily routine, things that make them happy, sad, or angry, and even their every move in bed! Therefore, you instinctively know when something is not right.
Hiding an affair requires a lot of physical, mental, and emotional adjustments. These adjustments often manifest as a changed behavior in your spouse. It may be drastic or subtle.
If you feel like your spouse’s behavior has changed, or they’re is trying hard to hide something, do not ignore your instincts.
Is your spouse cheating on you?
Cheating can wield a devastating blow on a marriage.
It is one of the major causes for a divorce. It shakes the confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth of the non-cheating partner. When a partner finds out about the cheating, they go through a period of denial, grief, and despair. The same feelings one experiences when someone close passes away.
Once your spouse’s cheating has been exposed, you will have to think about your future course of action. Do you want to save your marriage or move on?
Whatever option you choose, remember never to do it alone. Seek the company of your loved ones to help you navigate through the tough times. Seeking professional counseling can also help you heal your wounds.